Monthly Archives: July 2012

Imām Ibn Ḥajar al-‘Asqalānī on Kindness to Women

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:

“Be kind to women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the top. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it alone, it will stay crooked. So be kind to women.” [Bukhārī on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه)]

Imām Ibn Ḥajar al-‘Asqalānī comments:

“The words ‘treat women kindly’ indicate that you shoud try to put them right gently, because if you go to extremes in trying to straighten them you will break them, and if you leave them they will remain crooked… What we learn from this is that we should not leave them crooked if they go beyond the natural expected shortcomings  and commit sins or neglect duties. What is meant is that we can leave them crooked with regard to permissible matters. We also learn from the hadith that a gentle approach wins people over and opens their hearts. It also tells us to deal with women by being easy going with them, and to bear their crookedness with patience. Whoever insists on putting them right will not benefit from them, and as a man cannot do without a woman to enjoy the pleasure of living with her and to be his support in life, it is as if he said, ‘you cannot enjoy her company unless you put up with her.’”

[Imām Ibn Ḥajar al-‘Asqalānī, فتح الباري شرح صحيح البخاري (Fat al-Bārī Sharḥ aḥīḥ al-Bukhārī), 9/954]


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